They say being a mom would change your blood. I took the saying to heart and literally, I was waiting for the moment it would happen. I imagine after a long deep sleep, I woke up and felt a new me. Smiling like an angel. Of course, no such things happened. After 9 months of waiting with so much happening and much changing I do realize though, there is no blood change. People fooled me.
But something did crack open.
Mom's journey is waking up before your child and sleep after your child. In between her day is filled with work, cooking and cleaning and worrying and wondering if she did anything wrong. It is too much for a new mom to jiggle the balls and that stress finds way to hide inside. For the first time ever I felt like stress is also a friend. It was born by me, nurtured by me and somehow it feels me. It chose to stay resilient and helps me build up the stamina. Of course it does come to a point though and I have to let it out like now. Mom’s journey is growing with your child step by step. When I walked my baby for the first few steps, a deep gratitude swept over. I am grateful for this journey, for being a mom to my baby. Every night I cradled him to sleep, I adored him. Baby adoration is a thing one would never get tired of. Playing with baby is entirely different though. Of course now I have a newfound respect for moms. I want to be the best mom ever however knowing myself I think it’s best for my child to take the lead. It’s too early to say anything but my story would be no different to any other mom. On a scale of being a worrier to a warrior I think I am at both ends and being in the middle would be nice.
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