To 2026 and beyond

After giving birth, I hurriedly tried to get back to my yoga practice to prove that yoga was still my thing. I had maintained a daily practice throughout my pregnancy, so I thought I could continue doing the same afterward.

Boy, how wrong I was.

Being a working mom has, admittedly, changed my lifestyle quite a bit. I no longer wake up early for morning yoga before going to work. I can no longer squeeze in a short run before dinner. I can no longer write a blog once a month. I can no longer just lie down on the couch and read a random book.

It feels so easy yet so hard to do. 

One moment of lying down on the couch, and my boy thinks I am his slide. One moment of picking up a book, and my boy snatches it out of my hand. One moment of doing yoga, and my boy flips me over on the mat as if I were his plaything. Not to mention my cat, who always thinks I am in danger and need his protection at all times.

                                                                    Yoga mat companions

Of course, work adds another layer of wonder to this lifestyle. Exhaustion is the wonderful daily dose, if you ask me.

So instead of daily yoga and the occasional run, I watch Chinese short dramas on TikTok. To the point that I decided to restart my Chinese lessons, just so I could feel less guilty about watching them.

“Oh, this is for my Chinese practice, not because I’m being lazy... My teacher told me to listen to Chinese all day...”

I am just going with the flow. Where the flow leads, I don’t really know — and I am too tired to find out.

I guess I am just one of all the mommies out there, with the belly and the sagging butt. I tell myself every day that I am showing up and doing the best I can.

This morning, I turned up on my mat, found a YouTube channel to follow, and now it has been three days in a row. I am thrilled. It feels fun and effortless. 

And now I am writing a blog after half a year on hiatus. I must have hit a goldmine!

To 2026 and beyond, keep showing up :) 

The Endless Journey Just Started — Reflections on Becoming a Mom

They say being a mom would change your blood. I took the saying to heart and literally, I was waiting for the moment it would happen. I imagine after a long deep sleep, I woke up and felt a new me. Smiling like an angel. Of course, no such things happened. After 9 months of waiting with so much happening and much changing I do realize though, there is no blood change. People fooled me. 

But something did crack open. 

Mom's journey is waking up before your child and sleep after your child. In between her day is filled with work, cooking and cleaning and worrying and wondering if she did anything wrong. It is too much for a new mom to jiggle the balls and that stress finds way to hide inside. For the first time ever I felt like stress is also a friend. It was born by me, nurtured by me and somehow it feels me. It chose to stay resilient and helps me build up the stamina. Of course it does come to a point though and I have to let it out like now. Mom’s journey is growing with your child step by step. When I walked my baby for the first few steps, a deep gratitude swept over. I am grateful for this journey, for being a mom to my baby. Every night I cradled him to sleep, I adored him. Baby adoration is a thing one would never get tired of. Playing with baby is entirely different though. Of course now I have a newfound respect for moms. I want to be the best mom ever however knowing myself I think it’s best for my child to take the lead. It’s too early to say anything but my story would be no different to any other mom. On a scale of being a worrier to a warrior I think I am at both ends and being in the middle would be nice.

Birth

I am writing this piece at 2am when my baby is sleeping and I am in a pumping session. All made possible by a hands-free breast-pump. Better late than never I guess. 

So here we go a reflection of the year end. Brand new is the key word.  A brand new baby and brand new mama. We’ve been together for almost 3 months. From rocking him to sleep for a few hours to putting him to sleep independently (almost!) for the whole night, mama is now having the time for her own. For the first time I feel like I can enjoy a moment of peace with my baby since he was born. Yesterday I was able to look at the sunset with him before putting him to bed for the night.  Lots of building with the pinkish sky as the canvas. Down there, cars moved slowly as people have been out for the holidays. It seemed quiet and relaxing. I am pretty sure he wasn't feeling that as the crankiness before bedtime just arrived. 

My first massage client :)

Needless to say my daily schedule is all about the boy. Feeding, burping, nappies change, napping, massage and bath and then bed time. My party only starts after 7pm when he is down for the night. Watching Netflix while pumping has become my night routine and then go to sleep.  Looking back, first month was horrible with all that struggle from milk supply to taking care of the baby.  Second month is a bit better where I got to figure out how to survive and glad I did with all the help from family and friends. I love the visit actually as my friends helped me bit to bit from feeding him to nursing him to sleep or just sharing their experiences, encouraging me to let go. And the fact is that I am not afraid to be who I am, talk shit and show how stellar I look in front of them is already a therapy session. I remember when the lady who came over to give Tom a bath, I was able to share with her my struggle and she helped me take care of baby for 30 minutes and that felt good. My family even flew over from Hanoi to help me for a few weeks. Baby brings family together indeed. So in retrospect, it's been a life changing experience. 

Now he is almost 3 months and showing us a little attitude already. Yet seeing him smile and ah goo with us kinda made all the struggle worth it. It's gonna be a long journey but glad it's already started. I've become a mom now.

3rd trimester or Your mama is a worrier

 

Leaving work early, I came home and crawled onto the bed though it was just 6pm. A sigh of relief. A milestone at work done. House renovation done. Shopping for baby almost done. Shopping for house... never enough! What else? Shopping for our cat to prep for baby arrival also done. Third trimester with all its triumph such as insomnia, leg cramp at night also adds "flavor" to the mix. Needless to say I felt exhausted and have become a cranky bitch. With all that is almost over, lying in bed with the cats by my side, a sense of stillness suddenly arrives. 

So yes 3rd trimester is quite special. 

A trimester where I feel visibly pregnant. Baby kicks anytime he wants as if my tummy skin is his canvas. Eating? No issue, let's kick. Walking? Doesn't matter, let's kick. Too noisy? Let's kick. I am the boss! Of course baby, till you come out... The funny thing with 3rd trimester is when people keep telling me my shoes lace are undone and I just keep smiling. You know what, trying carrying 10kg and a big water melon in front of you and tie the lace! Same feeling when I drop something on the floor, I look at that for a good minute and prepare for my perfectly fast squat to pick it up. I feel so proud of myself. 

3rd trimester, everywhere I go, people know I am pregnant without asking if that lady is fat or not. Believe me, it's a privilege that I don't have to prove. Company also gives me lots of perks during this 3rd trimester like leaving work earlier, transportation and flexi time. That's a lot to appreciate for. I just hope my cats see the same but they certainly don't...

3rd trimester is also a shopping frenzy time to prepare for nesting. Friends and family gave me lots of stuff from their well-kept vault and it certainly helped a great deal. I have also developed new shopping skill: thrifting! Most of my baby's stuff are 2nd hand and I had the chance to meet many moms from different countries when they handed their baby's things to me with careful instruction.  One mom even gave me contact of a breastfeeding specialist who could help with milk supply later on if I get any issue; one mom gave me lessons on how many bottles I should need. One lady even self-delivered the soft book for me for free and she said "you are glowing". I really don't know if I was glowing or sweating. I hope that baby could appreciate it though I didn't really have time to read books and listen to music like other moms. 

Time flies and my prenatal journey is far from my imagination of what it should have been from the start. There was a lot of things happened in between and I've tried my best but reality hits which is for the good end anyway. I am sitting here in our "new" living room with lots of light as I ever wanted, baby kicking as if he agrees. 

What Pregnant Women Wear — My Real Pregnancy Wardrobe

Pregnant or not, you are still a woman. Even though 75% of the time we dress like walking straight out of bed in a less than stellar outfits; 25% left we do want to look good and feel well just for the sake of vanity; for the sake of indulgence or just for the sake of being in control. You know sometimes life may go different way than your plan but you are in control of how to dress. 

Pregnancy more or less will be a test of your wardrobe - what will stay and what will leave. The judgement day will be by the end of your first trimester - the time when I gave away lots of my clothes as they no longer flatter my growing bump. There was tightness everywhere from the thighs to the tummy, making me feel so hot yet in another sense of that word.  The ones going away are mostly bottoms: shorts, pants, jeans - you name it. The ones that stay are not that something you would feel hot in though. These are mostly tees, floating dresses - the "nerdy" stuff, the ones who stay through thick and thin with you throughout the 9 month+ journey. There is one exception, that slip dress will stay too. You could be a sexy and cute mom in this dress. So yes, slip dress should be in your capsule wardrobe haha. 

My forever slip dress

Pregnancy will also be a chance to welcome new arrivals. It could be something of a surprise - which refers to items that are given to me from friends/family. Say a sexy dress that reveal all my boobs which I eventually chose to wear in bedroom and then forgot it at the hotel. Or an official workwear in silk with open neckline and a long bow at the waist. I felt royal wearing these. It was nice experience to wear something from someone.

The smocked dress my sister gave me

The lady boss dress my friend gave me

What I found so universal amongst us the bump ladies are the baby doll dresses and the knit dresses. The other day when I was in a prenatal class - about 100 pregnant women walked in and they all dressed in the same uniform. Guess what! Baby doll dress! It was indeed overwhelming but luckily I wasn't wearing one. I felt proud of myself...But I got it. Lets call them the B dress. They are cute and just downright comfortable. They let your bump breath and people won't notice your bump that much and that you can wear till your n-trimester!  So in the case you want less attention to your bump, the B dresses are the choice. I also picked these for the easiness as these require no effort, just put them on with some accessories and you are ready to go. 

The baby dolls collection

Yet, I feel knit dresses are more of my likings as they accentuate my curves which were hidden most of my life. We often hide our belly as these are less than perfect and there is no better time than now to let them float, let them free, let them go wild. Hence knit are it! The K dresses require a little more effort in coordinating your outfits though since you would want to make sure no panty lines visible to the mundane eyes. Lingerie is another story but let's not go down there now. The issue with K dress is that they might be a little tight when you get to your 3rd trimester so make sure you pick the knit with good stretch. Lots of moms also choose this as their uniform but sometimes it could get a little too much so I got them both. The K and the B - the best of both worlds!

The knit dresses collection

There are other options less popular than the above two such as dungaree/jumpsuit and wrap dress and shirt dress. These are also really cute and nice alternatives to the K & the B. Luckily, I work in a less formal company where we can wear sweat pants to work so I could have a little more freedom in my style in case you were wondering. 

The overall!

The shirt dress

Of course, some pants still work. For me, cotton leggings are the best. They can come in both maternity or non maternity version. Make sure your bump is comfortable in them. And let me tell you a secret trick!  Pick a dark color as we sometimes might pee ourselves and my dear, it's no embarrassment. We peed in bed when we were kids and now we pee standing up as a grown woman, bearing a child. It's the nature taking its course. It happened to me once after a sneeze and luckily I was wearing the black leggings and in the mall so I quickly recovered by buying the pads in the nearby supermarket. So much appreciation for the supermarket in the mall! 

Bump friendly leggings for workout and go out

As mentioned from beginning, most of the time I am just a cat mom, wearing cat printed clothes, watching the cats licking themselves or sleeping as if there is no need to dress up. Like everything, dressing up takes effort and one might feel too lazy, too tiring to think of something to wear, not to mention to wear for both you and the bump. But for me, it can make me feel better and it is also a nice way to celebrate a different stage of life, a new stepping stone in my womanhood. 

Pregnancy bliss

"Worry is the work of pregnancy" is the sentence that stick with me ever since reading it from a prenatal yoga book. The phrase actually is written by Pam England in her book called "Birthing from within" which I have never read but was recommended by many mamas.  So where is the bliss people were talking about?

The first trimester was most draining for me as I was so tired coming from work everyday. Worry if the baby is healthy since I can't feel him/her at all. My bump is barely there, only my morning sickness is. Every time I felt being pulled in the stomach, I didn't know if it was a healthy symptom or not. Hence each visit to the doctor made me feel safe for a while. I tried to eat, drink, sit, sleep following the mama's protocols. But you know the risk of having a miscarriage is always looming in the corner. 

I might be worried, but I still travel in my 1st trimester. 

The 2nd trimester is the time when I feel better, less morning sickness but it's also the time to be prepared for baby as I am afraid I might not be able to move an inch in my 3rd! So I started reading books, asking friends and shopping and cleaning up our nest. Questions like if I wanted to breastfeed came up many times and I decided to read more about it - which is a good thing and I came to know about my breasts a little bit more. Actually the most practical tip I learned from the book is to massage my breasts every day with the hope that when the baby comes, the milk will pour! But please don't judge me if there is no supply. There is a funny picture on the internet on this is that either the baby is BFed or having formula, they all ended up eating McDonald! For some mama, it's no joke about this but maybe try not to be so hard on other women if they choose not to do the same. 

Cat and exercise help ease the anxiety

I am in my 2nd, reading about my 4th trimester already. Watching too. Netflix has a Korean show called Birthcare Center which goes around the story of new mama in their 4th trimester. I thought it was brilliant in depicting most mom's types. Whether she is working mom or stay at home mom, what matters most is she is BFing her baby right! The CEO mom is the main character and she was also struggling with BF as she didn't have so much milk as other moms and she has to learn to navigate through all that milk supply, taking care of baby, finding a nanny and working full time after maternity leave. I found it resonated with me when she was ordering coffee and everyone from the waitress and the stranger told her to take either decaf or kiwi juice as she was pregnant. Luckily no one told me to order what coffee but there are people who decided for me what to eat. I know they might thought it was better for me but I guess I would appreciate a question than a decision when it comes to my food choice. 

One thing I noticed is that there is far more information about how to prepare for giving birth and baby out there than information about how moms should take care of themselves after giving birth. On my tiktok account, once I watch a video on stuff to buy for newborns, instantly all the video feeds are full of that. Which is why I appreciate the book called Suối Nguồn Tươi Trẻ Cho Mẹ Sau Sinh or The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson. It was eye opening for me on the journey of new mamas after giving birth when all chakras and energy channel were wide open and out of balance and how each country is giving new mama post-partum care. Then I came to know that there are also services like that in Vietnam and it's a old tradition in some region as well. It can be 10 to 30day treatment and it's certainly not cheap but I think it would be essential to have this after birth so mom and baby can restore back to balance. There are also other topics discussed in the book which I found super helpful as well. The conclusion is I need as much support as I could have. 

I appear blissful in this picture

I guess my best way to navigate throughout this worry kingdom is to write about it, confront my fear and somehow magically it would become a normal part of life. There is no pregnancy bliss but there is sure pregnancy glow as people give me compliment on my skin and all. Maybe maybe the bliss will come after.